“I thought that my foot had slipped and that I was going to fall, but You are faithful and You held me upright.” Psalm 94:18, EBD
Many of us tend to be our own worst enemies. When we look at the mirror, we often see our harshest critic. Do you also constantly put pressure on yourself to be better? Maybe you also, sometimes, feel that you are not beautiful enough, not smart enough, not funny enough, not rich enough, not organised enough or just not good enough?
I tend to criticise myself for days on end, if I feel I have made a mistake. I play the scenario over and over in my head and think about how I should have done it differently and how I should have known better.
In Taylor Swift’s latest song, Anti-Hero, which has been playing on various radio stations in recent months, the American singer sings: “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me at tea time, everybody agrees ...”
The song is about how she often struggles, late at night, with her own insecurities. I think the song is so popular because the theme is so universal. Don’t we all, at one point or another, feel like we are never good enough? It is something that many people can identify with. Yet, I see how excited our baby girl gets when she hears her father’s voice, when he comes home from work at night. When I pick her up from the daycare and she sees me at the door, she gives a little scream and claps her little hands. (I think our dog Bella is the only other “person” who was ever this happy to see me.)
Our daughter does not care what we look like. She does not care if we are perfect and do everything perfectly right every day. I can tell that she thinks her father is the best person when he plays with her – she laughs from the bottom of her belly. When she is restless late at night, she calms down when one of us picks her up and holds her. Knowing that we are there for her is enough at that moment. There is love and trust in her eyes when she looks at us.
It is one thing to pursue goals and to push yourself when you want to perform. It is good to improve yourself and to grow. There is a time and place for it. However, sometimes we should not be that hard on ourselves. We have to remind ourselves that we are good enough – every day. After all, we are God’s children, he loves us and continues to love us, even if we are nowhere near perfect.
Prayer: Dear Lord, thank you for knowing that I belong to you. Help me to look at myself with new eyes. Also, help me to remember that you love me, despite my shortcomings and mistakes. Amen.