By Benescke Janse van Rensburg

When we experience pain – a divorce, a discovery that your child was molested or you lose a loved one due to suicide, there may be many questions. Why did God allow it? Where was He? Why did He not stop it? Here is a story that may help you process your hurt differently.

A friend of mine’s father struggled with depression for years. Although he was never suicidal, she did specifically pray that God would protect him to never reach that point. The news, therefore, that her dad shot himself, completely shocked her. Next to his body, saying her goodbyes, something died inside of her. She could not pray anymore. She could no longer reach out to God. This was 5 years ago.

With time my friend realized that God is everywhere. This made her even angrier. If He was everywhere, why did He not stop her dad from pulling that trigger?

About two years after her father's death, my friend listened to a sermon one night. It was about the cruelty of man and why God does not stop it. During the sermon, the preacher emphasized God’s gift to each of us, having a free will. He desires a relationship with each of us, but He will never force us into one.

These words touched my friend deeply. She realized that her dad had a choice. She told how in that moment, it felt as if God was with her - sitting next to her and raising her chin like a father would do with his little girl. His words to her were: "I was with your father. I did not want him to do it. In fact, I pleaded with Him not to pull the trigger. But, when he fell, I was there to catch him.” This experience healed my friend’s broken heart. She testified how she started looking at God with new eyes, having experienced his love.

Do we always have an explanation for hurting events in our lives? No. What we can remind ourselves of is God’s love amidst this pain. In Isaiah 54:10 we read God’s words: “For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken . . .”

My wish is that we all discover that God is with us in every season. If we are sad, He comforts us. If we are discouraged, He fills our hearts with courage and hope. And when we fall, He is there to catch us. God bless.

Father God, thank you for your unconditional love and mercy. Please help me to make sense of sad and challenging seasons of my life. I ask this in the Name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

• Listen to the testimony of my friend: http://benescke.co.za/podcast/n-getuienis-van-hoop/

• Feedback: If you want to give feedback or share a testimony, send us an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or become a part of the Stories van Hoop Community on Facebook. Your contribution is important to us.